


For Shower's Sake!

by Zelgadis55



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Gen, General fiction, Literature, Some Humor, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5821513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelgadis55/pseuds/Zelgadis55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Worst! Night! Ever! The old turtle luck is running true to form and as a result, all Raph wants is a hot shower but nothing is going his way. Raph gets a little dirty in this one. Comments, thoughts and concrit is always welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Shower's Sake!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sampsonknight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampsonknight/gifts).



> Rating: Overall story rated T for language and mentions of alcohol, Raph will be Raph after all.
> 
> Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.
> 
> Summary : Worst! Night! Ever! The old turtle luck is running true to form and as a result, all Raph wants is a hot shower but nothing is going his way. Warning: Raph gets a little dirty in this one. Comments, thoughts and concrit is always welcome.
> 
> Warning: Raph's a dirty turtle and things get steamy. Badumptish!
> 
> A/N: Written as a gift for [](http://sampsonknight.deviantart.com/) and playing up to her obsession of Raphael and showers along with her headcanon for his dislike of baths. I did however take artistic freedom for the cause of said dislike. Sorry for taking so long...
> 
>  
> 
> *Cross posted to FFNet and Deviant Art

 

 

 

**For Shower's Sake!**  

Worst! Night! Ever!

He felt disgusting!

He was filthy and stank so badly that he could no longer even stand being in his own skin right now!

Raphael stood outside the hidden entrance to the lair, breathing shallowly through his mouth as he worked up the courage to open the door and just walk inside.

The sun had just been beginning to peek over the horizon as he slipped into the manhole a few blocks away and he knew that everyone would finally be fast asleep. Yet, as he contemplated the previous evening's events, Raphael couldn't handle the idea that Leo might be waiting just inside to question him or the thought of Mikey's jeers if he'd stayed up all night playing video games again.

For the past week, Casey had been out of state for a family reunion and wouldn't be back for another three days yet. As a result, the family control freak was being a pain in the shell about Raph's going off on his own at night again. Worse, they couldn't even go out as a team for some precious fresh air thanks to Mikey's idiocy. A couple of days prior, Mikey had been gearing up for another of his lame pranks and been stupid enough to pile a few chairs on top of each other as a makeshift ladder. Mikey argued after the fact that with his superb balance, he should have been fine but what he didn't take into account was that the bottom chair couldn't support the weight of two more chairs and Mikey himself and had cracked under the strain, resulting in Mikey earning a sprained wrist, a number of painful bruises and a mild concussion. Since Leo didn't want Mikey left alone in the lair, patrols were out until Donnie cleared their mischievous brother.

And Raph was chafing under the restriction and Leo's bossy attitude.

Badly.

As the sun set the previous night, Raphael finally had enough and stormed out, leaving a flabbergasted Leo doing goldfish impressions far behind.

-:-

_Raph sat hidden amongst the branches, watching the humans and occasional four-legged companions walking beneath him. It was still too light for a mutant turtle to wander the rooftops but he'd_ needed _to get out. Sitting in the tree may not have given him the activity he needed but the fresh air was doing wonders for his mood. At least, it was until he heard the nearby shrill scream of panic._

_The protector in Raph just wouldn't allow him to sit by doing nothing when someone so desperately needed help, even if it wasn't fully dark, so Raphael instantly jumped out of his tree to the ground below, grimacing in disgust as one foot landed in a freshly laid, still warm Barker's nest. His mind flashed back to the teenager and large German Shepherd that passed by minutes ago and he growled, half tempted to chase the teen down for not cleaning up after his mutt, but a new cry of fear reminded him of more important things. Raph pushed the temptation out of his head and ran to the rescue, trying to ignore the disgusting squelching between his toes._

_Oh yeah, tonight was off to a wonderful start._

_-:-_

_It was dark now as Raphael raced along the rooftops, wishing it had rained recently enough for him to find a puddle to wash off in. However, it was the end of summer and everything was dry. Thanks to the police arriving so fast, he'd had to abandon all thoughts of washing off in the water fountain or even take time to scrub off his foot and wrappings on the grass._

_Suddenly, the sai wielding ninja stopped with a frown and angled his head to stare down towards the nearby street; it wasn't a main street so it wasn't as well lit as others in the area. Raph frowned as he heard what sounded like a young group of punks ganging up on someone and moved closer to investigate._

_What he saw set his blood boiling!_

_On the ground below, an old man was surrounded by a group of what looked like twelve to fourteen year olds and they were throwing something, possibly rocks, he couldn't really tell at this distance, at the yelping geriatric. Reminding himself that they were just kids, it took everything Raph had not to just fly in there, sais drawn and attacking. Instead, he did something he knew Leo would kill him for_ if _he ever found out._

_Raphael jumped into the middle of the circle, wrapping himself around the old man protectively as the thrown items splattered repeatedly against his shell and a noxious stench quickly attacked his sensitive sense of smell._

“ _Get the hell offa me you alien scum!” the cantankerous old coot yelled angrily, hitting Raph repeatedly with his cane._

_Raph looked up in shock. While he hadn't expected gratitude, he hadn't quite expected this either. “Seriously? You'd really rather be hit by...”_

_Splat!_

_Raph froze as he felt something run slowly down the back and sides of his head, then groaned in realisation. It wasn't rocks the damned punks were throwing but rather, stinking, rotten eggs._

_As the kids received their first good look at what, or rather who, they were hitting, they scattered quickly and as Raph shot back of the safety of the dark rooftop, he could understand just why they'd ganged up on the crusty old coot._

_He hadn't even heard such obscenities from the modern-day pirates he helped take care of at the wharf a few months ago._

_-:-_

_The night was stinking and unfortunately for Raph, so was he. At this point, all he wanted was to head home for a long, hot and soapy shower and he closed his eyes, thinking of the calming, cleansing pleasure. However, he knew it was still early and if he returned now, Leo would be on him in a second and Raph_ really _wasn't in the mood for that right now._

_Raph sat down for a break, breathing shallowly and facing downwind. It didn't help a lot but it was better than having the stench of rotten eggs and other... things... blowing in his face._

_As he lamented the events of the evening, memories of the park reminded him of Central Park. He could go there to rinse himself with water from a stream or pond and use leaves to scrub off with. Raph smiled grimly._ _It wasn't ideal but at least he wouldn't have to put up with smelling and feeling like this all night or worse, going home and facing his brothers._

_With his choice made, Raph climbed to his feet and started running towards Central Park._

_Raph sailed over a gap between buildings, landing silently on the other side, before spinning on the balls of his feet and dashing back towards the edge to peer down into the alley below; he wasn't sure why but something had made him need to turn around. Raph bit back a groan of dismay as he soon noticed a group of four thieves entering the back door to a pawnbrokers._

_Normally, he would relish the chance to bash the heads of those that desperately deserved it._

_Normally, he would jump on the chance to expend some of his foul mood on those that didn't._

_Now was not one of those times._

_Now all he really wanted was a long, hot shower; he could almost feel the warm water running soothingly over his shell and down the bulging muscles of his arms and legs._

_Right now, Raph felt putrid and the pungent odour which rose from him seriously turned his stomach, despite that he_ lived _in the sewers_ and _put up with both Mikey's and Donnie's experimentation; one with food, the other with noxious gases._

_Raph slipped silently down the side of the building, dropping the last few meters with only the barest of noise. He was so intent on dealing with this quickly so he could go wash off the stank, that he completely failed to notice two shadowy figures slip behind him. The next thing he was aware of was flying through the air and landing in a pile of squishy garbage bags leaning against the overflowing dumpster of the neighbouring seafood restaurant._

_-:-_

_Disheartened, Raph stared down at the large nature reserve across from the building he crouched upon. It was late! How the shell could there be so many people there this time of the night? Central Park was not exactly known for its safety after dark! Raph sighed and began working his way along the buildings to find another, less crowded, entry point._

_His only other choice this late at night was to go and face the peanut gallery at home and he wasn't ready to go to that extreme just yet._

_-:-_

_Raphael finally found his way in, after having to search for a way across the busy street unseen. He knew the park fairly well; well enough at least, to know where to find a source of water which wasn't currently dried up, but it was quite a hike from where he was and he'd have to cross several main paths and the people that foolishly frequented the nature lands this time of the night._

_-:-_

_Salvation wasn't far now, just across that path and over the bridge._

_Raph easily made it across the path but suddenly froze._

_There was someone on the bridge!_

_And they were singing!_

_Badly!_

_Not to mention drunkenly._

_Raph closed his eyes; confounded yet again._

_For a time Raph crouched in the shadows, watching and hoping the drunkard would move on; he_ really _didn't want to go home to the laughter and ridicule he knew would be waiting._

_Raph's heart suddenly lurched with dread as he saw the befuddled bonehead leaning over the edge and stretching out. Before he even had time to realise what he was doing, Raph found himself running to pull the soused moron back._

_He was too late! The boozer lost their balance and went over the edge. Raph immediately jumped after them, curling around the plastered human protectively. He quickly twisted in mid-air so his carapace would land first with a soft squelch._

_Squelch?_

_Raph shoved the tanked person off of him and rolled over._

_To his intense dismay, the waterway was dry! There was only drying mud remaining and something inside Raph broke. There was no more choice. He would have to return home and face the music now._

“ _HEY!_ Thanks _Mister Imaginary *hic* Turtle dude!”_

_Raph turned his head towards the surprisingly distinctive female voice, eyes widening as the shadowy figure clutched at him for balance._

“ _You *hic* saved my *hic* life!”_

“ _Ah, it's nothin'. You okay?” Raph asked in concern even as he tried to pry the girl off; she was doing a great octopus impression that would have left Mikey jealous._

_"Hey, you want a *hic* drink with me?" Still clutching him with one arm wrapped around his neck, she fumbled for the flask tucked in her pocket with the other._

_"No and I think you've had enough." Raph twisted and ducked under her arm but too late as she stumbled, spilling the contents all over him._

_"Seriously?" Raph threw his hands into the air in sheer frustration and indignation, turning his shell on the sloshed woman._

_With his carapace to her, Raph didn't notice as she stumbled, clutching at him yet again and suddenly she heaved, puking up all over him._

_-:-_

_After that, Raph hadn't been able to leave her. He tried numerous times but despite her juiced state, her grip was like a vice and he was stuck listening to her alternatively sob, rant and laugh for the remainder of the night. The few times she finally seemed to fall asleep, he tried to extricate himself, only for her to wake up and hold tighter once more._

_-:-_

Raph steeled himself, took a deep breath and coughed from his own rising stench. Then he pushed the door open to greet blessed silence. Most lights were off, only the soft glow of the lair at rest welcomed him and he immediately ran for the bathroom, desperate for the shower he'd been craving all damned night.

Approaching the bathroom door, Raph frowned at the sight of a light peeking from underneath. He was tempted to stop and make sure no one was in there but he could no longer stand the feeling of being in his own filthy skin any longer.

He _needed_ that shower and stat!

Raph opened the door and dashed through the room as though his life depended on it, before abruptly screeching to a halt.

Donnie was in the shower already? At this time of morning?

Raph's eyes widened in dismay as he rounded the corner; worse, Donnie had the shower pulled apart.

“Don...” he ventured cautiously, “what are you doin'?”

Donnie coughed as he turned around, eyeing Raph up and down warily. “Someone, who shall remain nameless, had an altercation with the shower head,” he explained in a drained voice; he sounded like he was choking. “Since I am forced to repair it anyway, I figured I may as well go ahead with the upgrade I'd been planning for months.”

Raph ground his teeth angrily. “So where is the little shit now?”

“Asleep and don't you _dare_ wake him. He's been obnoxious the last couple of days, what with having his activity limited,” Donnie stated in a no-nonsense tone before coughing again. “I hate to tell you this Raph but you could _really_ do with a shower.”

If looks could kill, Donnie would be pushing up daisies now.

“Did you go out and get drunk?”

“Of course not!”

“You smell like...”

“ _I know damn well what I smell like!_ ” Raph snapped, barely managing to keep from yelling his frustration and waking the household. He motioned furiously at the shower, “How long 'til it's fixed?”

Donnie glanced behind him at the remains of the shower. “It'll be a few hours yet; I'm afraid.”

“Peachy...”

Raph turned and started stalking out.

“Where are you going?”

“ _Casey's!_ I'll take a shower there since he's out of state!”

And with that, Raph stormed from the lair for the second time in less than a day.

-:-

Raph hurriedly climbed in through the window at Casey's apartment, ever mindful of the risk of being spotted in broad daylight; it took him a while to find his chance but he'd been determined. He gazed around in disgust; his best friend was many things, slob being foremost among them. The apartment had been closed up for the last week in the heat of the sweltering summer, left to fester in the trash and empty beer bottles Casey couldn't be bothered disposing of before leaving and what was left of Raph's sense of smell was now paying the price.

For a moment, the vindictive side of the hotheaded turtle was tempted to leave the windows closed so as not to allow the fetid air escape; after all, Casey deserved to come home to this. However, if he punished his friend for his slovenly ways, he'd only be hurting himself in the process. With a sigh, Raph opened the remaining windows of the dingy apartment wide, making sure to keep the curtains closed in case of nosy neighbours, before heading to the bathroom.

He tiptoed his way across the sticky floor, grimacing each time his feet stuck slightly and wondering just how the shell it got to this state; he could have sworn things weren't quite this bad last time he was here. Then again, maybe it wasn't the floor so much as his own feet that were sticky; after the previous night, he couldn't tell any more.

When Raph finally opened the door, he immediately regretted his rash actions.

Raph warily eyed the dank, muggy room with trepidation as he took his first step within. The tap above the sink dripped constantly and below it, a nasty greenish brown stain surrounded the scungey looking plug hole. Worse, with the way the room had been closed up, along with the sweltering heat of the last few days and lack of fresh air, the mould had built up, spreading throughout much of the room.

He took another tentative step inside, screwing his face up in disgust. In the corner sat a messy pile of musty towels and crusty underwear and for a moment, he could have sworn something in the pile moved.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Raph quickly backed out of the revolting bathroom to check the linen cupboard for fresh towels, only to find himself banging his head on the door in frustration at the sight of the empty shelving.

Nevertheless he _needed_ that shower, so he re-entered the small, blighted room and reached out for the flaking shower tap. Then something else moved; a lot of something else.

Raph's jaw dropped in utter disgust and he backed out of there faster than Mikey with a rampaging prank victim on his tail.

-:-

The traumatised turtle sat breathing heavily beneath the manhole cover.

He couldn't have left that roach motel fast enough and it took all he had to remember to lock up behind him.

Casey Jones would definitely get what he deserved when he returned home in three days time.

-:-

Raphael stared at the sewer entrance to April's basement and swallowed back his pride. He couldn't go home; Donnie would still be working on the damned shower most likely, and worse, the rest of the family would be waking up by now.

He sighed in resignation, then worked the secret code to enter the building. Slowly, he made his way upstairs to 'Second Time Around', where April would already be flogging her wares. Thankfully, he knew being a speciality store, that it wasn't full of people all times of the day and he hoped it would be clear long enough to ask his friend if he could use her bathroom.

Reaching the inner door of the shop, which April kept closed so he and his brothers could drop by whenever without the risk of being seen, he listened intently before easing it open a crack. Peering within, he could make out April absorbed in a thick book of the type only she or Donnie could appreciate.

April paused in her reading, lifted her head and sniffed cautiously at the air as a putrid scent wafted over. Moments later, the human bookmarked her page and nose twitching in distaste, began searching for the odour.

Raph closed his eyes briefly in embarrassment, before calling out quietly to April; he'd noticed someone browsing through the far corner of the store and knew better than to risk opening the door further.

“Pst! April!”

April's surprised green eyes met his golden ones and she was at the crack of the door in an instant, hissing, “What are you doing here so early, Raph?”

“I need your help badly, April!”

April choked on the proximity of the rotten eggs, garbage, puke and fishy smell emanating through the doorway. “With what? I have a customer in the store right now, can it wait a little?” Then she paused. “Do you have _any_ idea what that _awful_ stench is?”

Raph flushed, “Unfortunately yeah... It's me, Ape...”

“Raph?”

“I ran into trouble last night and our shower at home's busted. Was going to use Casey's but...”

“Say no more,” April said dryly, trying not to cough. “Please, go! Hurry up and use it!”

And then she couldn't pull the door closed fast enough, leaving Raph to go about his business.

-:-

Raph gazed around at the bright, airy and _clean_ bathroom with something approaching euphoria. He'd always enjoyed April's shower, with its strong water pressure and spaciousness and often thought back longingly to the time they'd been forced to live here with their human friend temporarily. Sure, the circumstances had sucked shell but the time spent in the shower was pure bliss.

Almost reverently, the filthy, turtle reached for the taps and slowly twisted them on, adjusting until the running water was flowing at the perfect temperature.

Sighing with sheer happiness over the thought of finally being able to clean up and wash off the muck, Raph didn't bother removing his gear except for his weapons and Shell-cell, both of which he would give a little love later. His gear was just as bad as himself after the events of the previous night; caked in mud, congealed egg and stickiness. Closing his eyes, Raph stepped under the steaming, gushing water, feeling the magic of the perfect shower beginning its soothing magic.

Already relaxing, he turned his face upwards into the stream but to his shock, the water simply petered out, dribbling to a halt. He blinked, not immediately understanding what could have gone wrong and twisting the taps off and on again in wild desperation.

He'd only been under for twenty seconds max! It wasn't even long enough to loosen the crud coating him!

Still in disbelief, he glared upwards, willing the water to return again before finally giving in, knowing simply standing there wouldn't help. Raph reluctantly stepped back out and dried himself off with the bright, new, yellow towel which matched thedécor of the bathroom.

Once Raph re-equipped himself, like a man to his own execution, he slowly made his way downstairs to the antique shop below and called to April.

“Did you forget to pay your water bill?”

Luckily, there was no one in the store so April opened the door wider, still keeping her distance. “Of course not, Raph. Why?”

“The water just cut out,” he explained. “I guess your shower's broken too then...”

April stared in bewilderment before realisation filled her face and she dashed upstairs, careful to hold her breath as she passed him. When she returned moments later, she walked slowly down the flight of stairs with a flyer in her hands. “I'm so sorry Raph; I completely forgot,” April said apologetically. “The city sent a notice that they were doing work on the water mains on this block today. The water won't be back for several hours yet.”

-:-

His gear still damp and the rest of him feeling disgusting, Raph crawled home with his tail between his legs. He was hungry and tired and no longer cared about what kind of reception he faced once stepping inside.

“Hey! Raphie's finally home!” Mikey loudly yelled the moment Raph entered the lair.

Grunting in annoyance with a fearsome scowl on his face, Raph asked, “Shouldn't you be trainin' by now, shell-for-brains?”

“I'm not cleared by Doc Donnie yet,” Mikey responded smugly as he skipped over. “Already done what little I'm allowed.”

“Just great...” Raph muttered. 'So much for gettin' Mikey outta my face.'

“You know, Leo's ready to go ballistic,” Mikey teased, his cheeky grin obnoxiously wide. Suddenly as he came close, his face crinkled in disgust. “What the shell happened to you anyway, bro? Even Klunk wouldn't drag in anything that smells like that!”

“Long story,” Raph admitted with a glower, “but here's the short version. None o' your damn business!”

“Aww, don't be like that. You're going to have to fess up anyway so you may as well let me in on it, bro!” Mikey stated cheerfully even as he exaggeratedly waved the hand of his good arm in front of his beak.

“Get lost, Mikey!” Raph retorted, stalking straight to the kitchen. He opened the fridge door, scrounging around for something to eat.

“Hey! You're going to curdle all the food!” Mikey protested in horror, trying to close the door on Raph.

“Leave me alone, I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday!”

“No way! Out of my kitchen before you spoil everything!” Mikey repeated, eyeing Raph warily. “I'll bring you something, just... stay _away_ from the fridge!”

 Raph regarded Mikey carefully to gauge his sincerity, before nodding and leaving to sit and wait in common area.

It didn't take long but Mikey was true to his word and soon brought over some leftover chicken, and thankfully, eating utensils; Raph really didn't want to touch the food he was about to put in his mouth with his hands as they were. However, what made Raph leery was the odd look on his brother's face as Mikey stood, watching him eat.

“What is it?” Raph asked shortly, swallowing his last bite.

Mikey grinned and Raph all but cursed, realising he'd fallen into his brother's trap.

“I could have sworn you were a turtle, not a chicken, Raph!”

Raph twitched, sure that Mikey was about to make some lame comment about 'you are what you eat'. “What the shell's that supposed to mean?” he growled warningly.

“Well~,” Mikey drawled, shifting his weight and preparing to run, “it's just that you smell so fowl! Ha ha! Get it?”

“That's it!” Raph snarled. He was up on his feet and about to give chase when Splinter, Leo and Donnie exited the dojo.

Donnie cast Raph a sympathetic glance before heading directly for the bathroom and Raph only just managed to keep from squirming under the stern gaze of Master Splinter; Leo's he didn't give a damn about.

“It is a good thing Donatello could inform us that you returned home briefly, earlier this morning,” Splinter began sternly, walking towards Raph. “I thought you were to have a shower at the home of Mister Jones?”

“Yeah... about that. Let's just say I'll never complain about Mikey's room again. Compared with Casey's bathroom, you could eat off the floor in Mikey's.”

“I eat on the floor in my room all the time!” Mikey protested before shutting up at the look from their sensei.

“Might I then suggest, perhaps Miss O'Neil's?”

“City's workin' on the pipes...”

“I see. Then I suggest you utilise your remaining option, my son. Preferably before that... scent becomes a permanent fixture within our home.” With that, Splinter left, trying not to hurry obviously as he crossed the lair to his own room and very firmly closing the door behind him.

Leo stood staring with an unimpressed expression as Raph sighed and began heading towards the kitchen once more.

Mikey just sat down, looking highly amused.

“And where do you think you're going, Raphael?”

“For the kettle, a bowl and a sponge, Leonardo,” Raph retorted.

Mikey sniggered with laughter, not even trying to hide his amusement and totally disregarding the death glare Raph immediately shot his way.

Sighing deeply, Leo face-palmed, “Just turtle up and take a bath, Raphael.”

“Pass!”

Mikey's snickering grew louder.

“I really don't see what your problem with baths is, Raph!” Leo sounded as if near the end of his patience. Then again, Raph knew Leo most easily reached the end of his tether whenever it came to dealing with him but hey, the feeling was more than mutual. “It's just like a smaller and warmer pool or lake and you're fine with those!”

“ _That's because_...” Raph stopped dead, mid sentence, realising the secret he almost spilt. “You know what? _Screw this and screw you!_ ” Then he stalked angrily to the bathroom and ran the water for his bath, all the while listening to Mikey's howls of laughter.

-:-

The time it took to fill the bath passed way too quickly for Raph's tastes and now that it was full, he stood there, staring in trepidation at the still water. He wasn't afraid; he just _hated_ baths! He hated the way they made him feel.

He hated the imagery of lobsters in a cooking pot that he had _every damned time;_ an image cemented in his mind thanks to one of the knucklehead's stupid pranks back when they were thirteen.

Raph shook his head, dismissing the memory and taking a breath, stepped in with first one foot, then the other. Breathing deeply once more, he scowled and psyched himself up, 'This is gettin' me nowhere! Just damn well sit down already!'

Just as he finally began lowering himself slowly into the steaming water, something big and red flew past his head and landed with a plop into the water. Raph's disbelieving eyes were drawn to it, a large, lobster shaped hunk of play dough sunken to the bottom of the bath. As Raph twitched, he heard rising laughter from the bathroom entrance and whipped his head around. At the sight of Michelangelo barely holding himself up and hanging onto the door frame while he laughed, Raph saw red.

-:-

Mikey immediately sobered, straightening up with an intense rush of panic as he took in Raph's raging aura. With a rising horror, he suddenly realised he'd pushed Raph's last button _too_ far for one day.

“Heh... heh... uh... You wouldn't hit an already injured turtle... would you, bro?”

Raphael didn't answer, just jumped out the bath, slipping slightly on the wet tiles. However, without missing a beat, the hothead easily recovered his balance and Mikey gulped.

Mikey automatically took off, tearing out the door and down the corridor as fast as he could. He'd been waiting for an opportunity for a couple of years to use the play dough lobster he'd fashioned, and naturally he'd seized the first chance he'd been given; he knew now that he really should have thought about it more first. As Mikey weaved and dodged his brother while bolting through the lair, a wave of dizziness washed over him, slowing him down and suddenly, Raph was upon him.

“Raph! Wait!” Mikey cried in alarm. He was relieved to see Raph hesitate before simply laying into him. Then as he was about to continue talking for his life, his fear returned as Raph abruptly picked him up and slung him over his shell in a fireman carry.

As another wave of nausea washed over him, this time from the stench his face was dangling against, Mikey caught sight of the congealed eggs, complete with bits of eggshell, amongst the dried mud and it was all he could manage to keep down his breakfast.

A door slammed open causing Mikey to lift his head in alarm and he realised that Raph brought them back to the bathroom. Without warning, Mikey found himself flying through the air and with a splash and a splutter, Mikey landed in Raph's abandoned bath.

“ _You simmer in it!_ ” Raph growled furiously.

Then he was gone and Mikey was left blinking water from his eyes as he struggled to sit up.

“What was that all about?”

Mikey grimaced at the sound of disapproval in Donnie's voice and looked up to where his brother appeared from around the corner where the dismantled shower was. “Uh... I may have pushed Raphie a little far with that last prank?”

“No doubt,” Donnie said dryly as he walked over, concern filling his face. “Are you okay, Mikey?”

“Yeah, I'm fine bro, but now I know why you don't want me running around,” Mikey admitted.

Donnie rolled his eyes. “You've had concussions before this and I'm certain you will again but you only just realise this now?”

“Eh heh... I forgot in the heat of the moment.”

Donnie shook his head and held out a hand for Mikey to take. “Come on, goof. For your penance, you get to help me finish upgrading the shower. Although, I must say that I'm not really sure which of us is the one being punished.”

Mikey grinned sheepishly as he took the proffered hand. While being pulled to his feet, another sudden bout of dizziness came over him and he lost his balance, slipping and accidentally pulling Donatello into the bath on top of him.

“Wonderful...” Donnie sighed as he pushed himself up, careful not to bear down on his brother. Then he caught sight of Mikey staring up past him with an odd expression filling his face.

“Hey Donnie?”

“Yes Mikey?”

“I've got an idea.”

-:-

Being broad daylight meant Raph was unable to go topside and since he figured even if he could, everyone would be able to smell him coming anyway, he instead went to his favourite tunnel in the sewers. It was a place he'd discovered some time ago after a fight with Leo; a place where if he sat and closed his eyes, he could imagine himself peacefully sitting by a waterfall, letting the sounds soothe his mood. This time of the year though, it was barely more than a trickle but he was tired and fed up and had no where else to go. All he wanted was a damned shower and he couldn't see how that was so much to ask.

After a couple of hours, his anger dissipated and Raph resigned himself to just returning home for a bath instead, even if he had to tie his most annoying brother to his own bed for the duration.

With his mind made up, it only took Raph half an hour for the return trip thanks to the fast pace he set himself, even while dodging a couple of wandering sewer workers. Once home, Raph went straight for the bathroom, determined to get the water running before going to deal with Mikey.

When he opened the door, Raph stopped still in surprise. Mikey and Donnie were both by the bath and Mikey was handing Donnie a small adjustable wrench.

“Hey bro!” Mikey looked up, grinning as if nothing had happened only a few hours before. “You're a little early, Raph.”

Raph's jaw dropped but before he could ask 'early for what?', Donnie spoke.

“Just give us another few minutes to finish and then you can have your shower.”

Raph looked up, noticing for the first time that Donnie was installing a makeshift shower above the bath.

“Since it's going to take ages for Donnie-boy to finish remodelling the shower, we figured why not set up a shower head above the bath to use in the meantime,” Mikey piped up cheerfully.

“It was actually Mikey's idea,” Donnie added with a faint smile as he tightened a bolt holding up the pipe.

“Really?” For a moment, Raph looked suspiciously at Mikey, then he relaxed. It was just like the twerp to come up with something like this by way of apology. He wandered closer.

Suddenly, Mikey's eyes lit up in that way that always had Raph's stomach twisting in dread, and he grinned mischievously. 

“Hey Raphie?”

“What?” he grunted, already hating himself for asking.

“Since Donnie's going to take the time to _really_ do up the shower, help me convince him to do all the fittings and tiles in gold!”

Donnie rolled his eyes.

“Why gold?”

“So we can all have golden show... OW! Hey! I'm still recovering from a concussion you know!”

-:-

With the makeshift shower finally ready, Donnie had dragged a protesting Mikey from the bathroom, leaving Raph alone at last.

Before starting the water running, Raph quickly fetched his shower supplies; long handled scrubber for getting those hard to reach places on the back of his shell, red loofah and Old Spice Timber, along with the after care oil that Donnie had whipped up to keep their shells healthy. Raph reverently placed his product down within easy reach and turned on the water.

For just over a minute, he simply stood there, staring at the running water and taking the moment to appreciate this precious miracle gift of modern society.

The shower head was old and still had faint signs of the greenish/blackish mould that most likely Mikey had tried scrubbing away, the spray shot off in odd directions and he could see the water pressure wasn't exactly the best but all in all, Raphael really didn't care.

Unable to wait another second in case this all turned out to be a dream, Raph all but leapt in, careful not to slip in the process. The water really wasn't quite hot enough for his tastes and worse, the pipes made odd noises but Raph just turned his face up into the uneven stream jetting down, simply revelling in the glorious feeling.

As Raph stood there soaking up the wonder, he was vaguely aware of the bathroom door opening and a sea green head poking inside.

“Hey Raphie! I see you forgot Donnie Duck! Want me to go get him for you? OW!OW!OW! Donnie~ Injured turtle here bro!”

Raphael smiled in satisfaction as the door closed and the voices receded into the distance. Now he could truly enjoy his long awaited shower in peace.

Slowly, Raph turned around, allowing the soul and body cleansing liquid to rush down the back of his head and shell, thoroughly relishing the sensation of the warm water sloughing off the stickiness and muck that had coated him for far too many hours now.

Crouching down, Raph picked up the loofah, liberally coating it with a generous splash of body wash before beginning to run it, slowly but firmly down the thick glistening muscles of his body, marvelling as emerald-green skin slowly emerged from hiding at last.

Raphael finally sighed in utter bliss as his day's troubles simply washed down the drain.

Truly, best shower ever!

-:-

Owari


End file.
